Who is Marie Dwyer?
by Anna Marie Masen
Summary: Charlie died so Bella left Forks before jumping off the cliff. Bella wants to start fresh including a new name. What happens four years down the line...  exb
1. Surprise

_**Chapter one - Surprise.**_

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"Happy Birthday" I whispered to myself as I dragged my stiff body out of my bed and towards my bathroom door. My eyes flickered to the clock just to the right of the room I now entered, 6.49am. Great. My original plan was to stay in bed all day, stay locked away from the world . Stay asleep. But no, for the past four birthdays I have wanted nothing more than that. Than to sleep through this horrid day - the day that ruined everything - and yet for the past four years I haven't been able to. It wasn't long before the shrill of my phone rang bells through my head. Irritated I slammed the bathroom door, ignoring the call that would of ruined my perfect slumber, if I had managed it. I had no doubt who was calling. My mum called every year to wish me a happy birthday and beg me to come home for it. And every year I pretended to be thankful and happy only to get her off the phone and leave me to my misery. I heard the phone stop calling and sighed with relief. It was too early to even try and be happy. Too early for that much effort.

The mirror was not my friend. As it hadn't been for years. I ran the brush through my long thick hair, that now hit the top of my jeans. I dotted concealer under my eyes to cover the dark purple bruising that had become an etched fixture thanks to lack of sleep. The circles were so bad today, it really made no difference.

As much as I tried not to think of that dreaded day exactly four years ago, my mind couldn't help but wonder there especially on this occasion. Yet, it wasn't the party that hurt to think about, it was the memory of his musical laughter at me when the first tear streamed down my cheek at Juliet's heartbreak of losing Romeo. It was the memory of the way he brushed it away with my hair and let his perfect breath saturate me. And more than that, it was that kiss. That last kiss, the one I knew was too powerful, too strong. The one I knew was a goodbye.

My phone shrilled again. I moaned and ran for it now. Jacobs number flashed across the screen. Why was he calling?

"Jake?"

"Bells, thank fuck!" His word assaulted me. I had heard him swear before but somehow this was too cheap for him. It didn't fit the Jake I had got to know before my departure from Forks. "You had me worried when you didn't answer earlier." He continued, probably noticing my stunned silence.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worry filled my words as I remembered exactly why I fled from Forks.

_I was trying, trying with all my will power to snap out of the numbness that had taken over me. Snap out of everything for Charlie's sake. So far it had been working, thanks to Jake and his new wolf pack brothers. Jake was with me now, pacing around the small kitchen as I sat on the chair and watched him. Victoria had been around again, this time she had made it past them and all the way into my room. Thankfully, it was the one time that I had ever managed to fall asleep easily. The one time I had done it while sitting on Jacobs sofa watching TV with Jake, Billy and Charlie. When Charlie finally woke me, Jake offered to drive us back - knowing I wouldn't go near my truck, too many memories - and seeing how shattered we both were. _

_"I'll crash on the sofa" he had said as he pulled my half asleep body into his arms and carried me out to it. Charlie was happy with anything that seemed to make me happy, and because of that, Jake was free to come and go as he pleased. It was only as we were walking through the door, that the arm that encircled my frame - carrying me to my bed -started shaking. _

_"What is it?" I whispered. He sniffed. Then he sniffed in the direction of the stairs before bolting up them. _

_"She was in here." I knew immediately who he'd meant. I remembered that thrill of fear that shot through me, only to be replaced with what felt like hope. Hope that maybe she would get me. Hope that I wouldn't have to feel this empty anymore. I shuddered at that memory. _

_We had stayed awake all night, thinking of how we could trap her. Thinking of a way to stop her, but her power of escape had made it impossible the one hundred other times the wolfs thought they had her. _

_The phone had rung then, interrupting our planning. Jacob had answered it, I watched his expression as fear and shock replaced the worry that had been there. He hung up as a single tear left his right eye and guided down his face. _

_"What is it?" I whispered, barely audible. Yet, I already knew, I wasn't sure how but his words were not a surprise. _

_"There was an… Charlie, well he… something happened…" He was stumbling, not knowing how to speak the words I didn't want to hear. _

_I didn't remember much after that. The rest had been a blur until one night, I sat alone in my small flat and realisation hit me. One single shot, one tiny bullet and my father was taken from me. I had needed to get away, needed a fresh start and with Charlie no longer around, there really was nothing left for me in Forks. Of course there was Jacob but I really had put him through so much already. He didn't deserve to love me, to have his feelings played with so regularly by someone so broken. So as soon as the sun rose, I packed what little I could carry and left. The train ride, had been long. I had left Jake a message saying I was sorry and would call him as soon as I could. The ending was more of a beg though as I pleaded with him not to worry. I had my own plan. _

_Swan… that was the name that was easily traceable, especially for a red headed vampire who wanted revenge. I had stayed in forks because I was scared that she would come for Charlie if she got frustrated enough at not being able to make me pay. I didn't have that worry anymore. Bella, was the other giveaway. So I would have to lose both. I contemplated names. Marie - my middle name - at least I would realise if someone was calling it. I decided to go with Dwyer, my step fathers name. Marie Dwyer. I hadn't told anyone where I was going and I only gave my number to my mom Renee and Jake. _

"Bells are you there? Hello?" He was shouting now. How much of the conversation did I miss.

"Sorry Jake, I got… distracted." I winced, remembering Edwards words to me about him and his 'distractions'.

"Bella. Listen. Victoria was snooping around again last night" I took a breath of relief. If Victoria was there, then she hadn't found me… yet. "But this morning I caught another scent."

"Okay" I waited for him to continue. He didn't. "Jake, spit it out." I shouted irritated. Today, I really didn't have patience.

"I had only encountered this scent once before and it was extremely weak at the time." His voice was low. I had the feeling he didn't want to be speaking these words as much as I didn't want to hear them. I stayed silent, perfectly still. "After you left. After Charlie. I was worried and so I went looking for… help. I guess you could call it."

"What did you do?" my voice was hollow.

"I went to their house. I though that maybe there was something there. A clue to a way to contact them." His words were rushed. " I found his room" his voice whispered 'his' like it was the secret no one else could ever know. "His scent lingered."

My breath caught. Edward. Edward was in Forks.

"I followed it all the way to your old room Bells, but he was gone by the time I got there." I couldn't think.

Why was he there? At my room? For my birthday? Or just checking to see was I alive? Why did he even care? As the time had passed, my pain had turned to resentment. Him and Alice more so than the others. They had all left without so much as a goodbye, well Edward had given me a goodbye, if breaking up with me and telling me I wasn't good enough for him counted.

"Where did the scent lead?" I asked, venom coating my words.

"To the police station and then to the cemetery. I guess he found out about Charlie." I grumbled as I let hid words sink in.

"Jake I have to go" I hung up, knowing I would have to apologise later for that but I just didn't have it in me right now to talk anymore. Why was he there? My mind swam with thoughts. I sat on the thick cushioned chair as I let my thoughts devour what was left of my ability to stay calm.

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	2. Ouch

**_Chapter 2 - Ouch_**

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The hours passed while I stayed lost in thought. Why was he there? The question bugged me more than I liked. Maybe he had come back for me? Hope… Hope was building. Hope was the only thing out there I was afraid of. Hope would destroy me. Damn it… I had already started hoping.

I let out a loud shouting huff and knew I needed to get out. I changed, throwing on my dark skinny jeans, black tee and black leather. I didn't wear colours anymore. Colours like everything else in this world, reminded me of them. Every time I saw yellow, orange or even gold I immediately thought of his liquid eyes. Pinks and reds, screamed Rosalie. Blues and greens… Alice. Whites, creams, beiges made Esmee's soft features fill my mind. Silver… his car. I couldn't win. So black. Black was the safest bet. Although, I still thought of his hungry eyes.

The street was busy, time had seemed to pass in a flash this morning. Something I was thankful for. The city of Chicago never failed to amaze me and distract me. Yet somehow, I knew I came here to be close to him. The town he was born and died. The town he had lived. It was a subconscious decision at the time but I liked it here. Everyone kept to themselves and no one seemed to notice me. I had been working in a small hardware store since moving here, it was a family run easy going business which helped me as I had no official identification for the name I was now known as. The cold air flung itself roughly around the street corners, ripping through everything it could. I should have worn gloves and a hat, I scolded myself. Yet again, I knew I had made an informed decision not to. Subconsciously, I made believe that the cold air, as it hit the back of my neck and ruffled my hair, was his cold breath. As my fingers turned stiff, that it was his cold hand holding mine. He had completely taken over my mind today. It hadn't been this bad in a long time. Not since that first week, the week Charlie had called Renee and every doctor he could find to come and help me. Of course none of it helped, there was only one doctor I wanted to see and he was gone with the only person who I wanted to be with.

I closed my eyes, letting the feel of the cold air and my imagination abuse my already battered heart. Normally this was just stupid because of the pain factor that would shortly tare my heart apart. But today, today is was just down right unbelievably stupid as I decided to do this while crossing a busy city street.

I heard wheels lock and Screech. A sound that rang clearly though my head and I waited for his stone grasp to knock me out the way of Tyler van. Something cold and hard hit me then but it certainly wasn't his iron arms locked in protection around me. I hit the floor and opened my eyes to the small growing crowd as they screamed and ran towards me. Everyone talking too fast. I realised then what must have happened, but I couldn't feel any pain. At least, I didn't until I stalked it. Moving my arm, the pain shot like a lightning bolt through me and made me wince. I didn't shy from it. It was the first real feeling my body had experienced in years. I moved it again.

"Stay still" someone shouted at me. I ignored them, moving my legs. They were sore but no where near the pain I was now feeling.

"The ambulance is on its way sweetie." An older woman said as she started taking my pulse and trying to keep me alert. The pain was really starting to get more intensified now and I wanted nothing more than to make it all stop. It reminded me of the time I dragged a sharp knife across my wrist. I hadn't wanted to kill myself, at least I didn't think I did. I just wanted to feel something. It took a while but eventually the pain caught up with me. Just like now.

It seemed like seconds before two medics, ushered people out the way and started asking me questions I didn't care to answer. They lifted me and it felt almost instant that I was in the back of the ambulance, as they worked over me. How bad was I? I wondered. They had placed an oxygen mask over my face as one of them started pulling at my head. I blinked and suddenly I was being pushed through the emergency entrance to the hospital.

A team surrounded me, all of them poking and prodding me now.

"Page Dr Mason, and get an O.R ready." That was followed by mombo jumbo I didn't care to think about. My mind stuck with the doctors name and I couldn't help but laugh at the mess my life was. I was so obsessed that I found a way to link everything to him. Mason… His human last name. What were the chances? I laughed again.

"How are you feeling? Can you follow this light?" A female intern asked as they wheeled me towards the O.R I assumed. The flashing light hurt more than I expected but whatever I did in response was enough to tell her something as she turned and started speaking to the other non-descript dirty blonde standing behind her.

"What do we have?" That voice, distant but recognisable.

"Patients name is Marie Dwyer. Age 22. Presented with a deep head wound, broken left arm and possible internal bleeding after being hit by a car. She's responsive and alert although she kept blacking out on the way here." I blacked out? That explained the time jumping I suppose. I noticed how they moved out the way to let him through.

"Page neuro, tell them we need a consult" That bell toned voice spoke again. There was alarms ringing in my head but I couldn't seem to add the clues together. His face was nearly over mine as he read the chart in his hand and started speaking. "Marie, can you tell me what hurts?"

His golden eyes connected with mine then and my breath caught. His eyes widened as he looked at me, panic spread across his features as he looked up and down my body, he roughly passed the chart at someone I couldn't see and started moving his hands not knowing where to start.

"Bella?" He whispered close to my face. "Bella?" his voice was nearly too quiet for my human ears to pick up.

"Carlisle?" I breathed with the breath I had been holding, as I moved the gas mask with my free hand. Something in my mind clicked at that point. Dr Mason they had called him. I knew then not to mention the name Cullen.

"Bella, where hurts?" He was panicking now. I had never seen him panic before.

"Doctor?" Someone asked from my other side. I couldn't take my eyes off him. Either he was here or the damage to my brain was serve and I was letting my hallucinations run wild. In all honesty it could be that, I had done that once before. "Do you know this girl?" His eyes didn't leave my face, as if he was scared that I'd disappear as well. My mind was swimming then, I was hoping it had something to do with the medicine, although if this was the end at least I got to see Carlisle one last time.

"Yes. She… she's practically my daughter." Were the last words he uttered before the unconscious darkness swallowed me whole.

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	3. Pain

_**Chapter 3 - Pain**_

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I noticed a steady beeping slowly becoming louder and I started to feel the hot air around my mouth. What a strange feeling! I thought as I struggled to find the light. It wasn't so much a realisation as it was a natural reaction to open my eyes and find the light that I was now craving. How long had I been in the dark place? It felt like moments, mere seconds but I knew from the time in Phoenix with James that those mere seconds had been almost a week. I felt cold hands - much colder than any hands a living being could have - touch my forehead and gently brush down my face. Yet, this wasn't a touch I recognised.

"Bella, Bella sweetie can you open your eyes?" Esme's soft voice filled my head and without warning I felt something cold and wet escape my eye. I hadn't realised how much I had missed her in particular. I fluttered with my eyes trying to force them open and eventually succeeded. There she stood, in all her vampire beauty before me. Her expression a mix between relief and worry.

"Esme?" I said aloud hoping that if I was hallucinating, then this would snap me out of it. But she just smiled in response.

"You had me so worried." Her hand brushed my face again as she moved to remove the oxygen mask for me. "Carlisle" she called to her side, no louder than her normal voice but I knew from experience that it was loud enough for him to hear. She turned back to me. "How are you feeling?"

I couldn't speak, I didn't know what to say.

"Bella?" She asked again, anxiousness taking over her expression.

"How long was I out?" I finally managed to breath out but it sounded wrong, too harsh. I tried to clear my throat.

"Bella, your throat is going to be sore for awhile dear" Carlisle's voice filled the room as he walked in. "We had to interbate you while we were operating." I raised an eyebrow at him, it hurt. "We nearly lost... there was no way I was going to lose you." His kind features smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back, followed by an uncontrollable wince at the pain that coursed through my body.

"How long?" I asked again, looking at Esme.

"Two days." She smiled a sad smile down at me before turning anxiously towards Carlisle.

"Bella, I have to ask you a few questions and I need you to be honest with me." His eyes held mine, almost pleading with me to tell him what he needed to know. I nodded, worried. I didn't like the uncomfortable anxious looks they were both wearing as they glanced from each other to me.

"When you were brought in, they called you Marie Dwyer?" I nodded and bit my lip as the pain shot through my head. "Why?"

"I needed to be untraceable." I answered simply. He nodded at me but his curiosity was not dulled at all.

"Your house in Forks, its empty…" It wasn't a question. I nodded again. "Where's Charlie? I didn't want to contact your mum, maybe I should have." He said more to himself than me.

"No you cant." I panicked. I could hear my heartbeat picking up.

"Bella you need to calm down" Esme said soothingly and I did try to follow her request.

"Please, don't. It will all be for nothing." I took a deep breath. Then realisation hit me. He knew my house was empty. Edward really was there… did Edward know I was here. "The others?" I asked before he could start questioning me again.

"We didn't tell them. I didn't know if you would want them to…" he trailed off. I looked at Esme.

"I knew something was wrong and I recognised your scent when he got home so I didn't let it go till he told me" she shrugged unapologetically. I smiled at her.

"How long have you been here?" Carlisle asked trying to read my expressions.

"Three and a half years, give or take." I mumbled. That surprised them. "What?" I asked as they shared a look.

"Why did you come here?" Carlisle asked exaggerated the 'here'.

"I don't really know. Just felt right some how so I went with it." Carlisle hmm'd aloud lost in thought.

"But why?" Esme asked. "Why leave Forks? Is Charlie here?" I didn't want to answer that.

"It's a long story" I said trying to hint it at them.

"We have time." Carlisle said as he walked over and closed the door, then joined us on the other side of the bed. Sitting here with them felt like no time had past.

I let out a loud huff, which sent pain rippling across my chest. "After you left…" My voice cracked this wasn't something I ever spoke of. They didn't miss that, as they shared a knowing look. I took a deep breath and started stronger this time. "After you left, A lot happened." Esme raised her eyebrows in disapproval at my cheap attempt to end the story faster.

"Bella" Carlisle said sternly. It was the voice he used with Rosalie when she was being un helpful towards me. I couldn't help but smile at it. He smiled back at me and in that second it seemed he shared that same thought.

"Well I was… well kind of… erm…" I struggled. What was the right word, the right way to explain. "Lets just say I went head first into the crazy pool" I gave an innocent smile as both of their faces dropped in worry.

"Explain?" Carlisle's tone was demanding and yet it was filled with so much hurt.

"I wasn't myself. I was a zombie" I started speaking faster now, wanting it over with, hoping that they would miss the details that I knew I had to share but didn't want to. "I kept my promise at first but then I got angry when I realised he didn't keep his so I purposely tried dangerous stuff" Pure shock crossed their features and I figured I should continue before I let them over process it too much. "I started hearing things I guess you could say, well not things, one thing… Edward." His name was no more than a whisper as it left my tongue. " I realised the more outrageously dangerous something was the more I heard him so I started doing things like riding a motorcycle and…" I didn't miss the anger that now painted their expressions. "and I went looking for our meadow. Do you remember Laurent?" I asked stupidly. Of course they did.

"He's missing. The Denali's have been searching for him" Esme spoke now.

"Yeah they wont find him." I bit my lip, she gazed at me curiously. "He came for me, as a favour to Victoria." A loud growl escaped Carlisle and I couldn't help but gawk at him.

"How did you get away?" He asked in horror. This was the tricky bit. I wasn't sure I should share this part but it seemed fair. After all the wolf's asked me all about the Cullen's.

"That's another long story but basically… there's a wolf pack down at La Push, they saved me." Carlisle's expression was sparked with understanding and instantly seemed animated.

"They're back. I thought they died out years ago." He asked, I could see him calculating something in his mind.

"Well they have a theory about that. But like I said that another story. My friend Jacob Black is one of them and they knew about Victoria who kept coming for me. So they protected me…. Blah blah blah." I skipped over Jacob's feelings for me and the rest of my crazy behaviour.

"We never should have left" Esme said angrily now. I wasn't expecting that. "Carlisle, we left her in danger if the wolves weren't there. Carlisle!" She growled his name, her anger like mine, made her shake.

"I know." He answered numbly as he looked at me. The regret and pain was so clear, I couldn't help but try and sooth them.

"I survived" I shrugged. "Ouch" I winced and Carlisle was immediately at my side.

"You need more pain killers."

"After." Now this was started I wanted the conversation done with. He looked like he was calculating something again but shrugged and gestured for me to continue. "One night, luckily I fell asleep at Jakes" They shared a look and I didn't need Edwards power to guess what they were thinking, so I just continued, ignoring it. "Victoria made it all the way into my room." There were more growls. " The next day, Me and Jake were trying to figure out what to do when the phone rang. Charlie…" I felt the tears spill over the edge of my eyes and instantly they were both holding me as much as they could, I didn't need to say anything else.

"Bella, please say it wasn't Victoria?" Carlisle begged. I shook a no and noticed Carlisle take another breath.

"There was nothing left in Forks" I said through the tears that were starting to dry up. "So I packed and left. Changed my name and hoped that not being able to trace me would make it harder for her to find me. I've been here alone ever since."

They shared another look and the pain was radiating off of them. Did I blame them? Did I hate them? No, that was something I could never do. I could never hate these loving being's that accepted me without a seconds thought. Carlisle's face stiffened as he caught sight of the scar on my wrist. I gulped and neither of them missed that. They both turned to me with an expression that asked without the use of words.

"Head first into the crazy pool, remember." Was the only answer they were going to get about that. They both sighed and the room fell into quiet.

"You've been completely alone all this time." Esme said, it didn't sound like it was meant for me though. "That's not what he thought would happen, that's not what he wanted for you." She didn't need to say his name, I already knew it. I needed to change the subject and quickly.

"Carlisle, how bad am I?" His answering sigh wasn't comforting.

"Broken arm, three ribs" That explained the pain then every time I moved a millimetre. "Deep laceration on your scalp but luckily no other damage but a concussion. Bruises covering your whole body and you had some internal bleeding"

"Hmmm I thought I'd be in more pain for all that." I shrugged and could easily pick out the three broken ribs. I let out a small laugh trying to ease the uncomfortable atmosphere that had fallen around us.

"Oh Bella." Carlisle looked at me again and shook his head sadly. He seemed to hang it in shame. When his eyes came back up to meet mine they were full of shame and regret. His voice was a broken whisper - pleading - something I had never heard from him before. "We thought you'd be better off, we thought you'd be safe. We never thought..."

I closed my eyes. I didn't want to hear this, I couldn't handle this. This didn't bring back the past four years. This didn't bring him back to me. "Please… don't. I can't..."

Esme spoke then. "Just know he" it was perfectly clear by her expression who she was talking about. " thought this was right. He didn't want to leave you but didn't want to damn you either to this life." The unending tears I had been fighting against since that very first week, felt like they were going to drop over any second. I took deep breaths to calm myself and concentrated on that pain. That pain I could ignore.

"I think its more time for pain killers?" He smiled, although it was full of hurt, disbelief and I recognised the same expression I had seen Edward wearing often when he was rebuking himself for something. I nodded in agreement and let their words sink in as the blackness encroached and took my vision.

They didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave?

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	4. Alice

_**Chapter 4 - Alice**_

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I awoke with a start. My heart felt like it was going to pounce out of my chest. That drug-induced sleep wasn't the same as the first one. This time I was able to dream, for the nightmare to consume me. I couldn't seem to remember much of it - only short flashes, pictures that were being flung at me - Three vampires surrounding me, their long black coats floating in the wind as they raced towards me. The blood red eyes circling me, watching for any movement, any sign to start the attack.

I tried to sit up in the bed, to turn on a light, anything to remove that dream from my vision. The whole room fell in shadow, the only light coming from the small monitor that was now recording my irregular heartbeat. My eyes flickered to the chair in the corner, a small pale movement caught my attention. I couldn't quite see who was there, but somehow I wasn't scared. There was no fear in the atmosphere just… was that sobbing? I tried to focus now.

"I'm so sorry" a small broken whisper came from the corner of the room. A voice I would recognise anywhere. "I shouldn't have let him…" I had heard the dry crackling noise only once before. It was during my time in the hospital in Phoenix. I had half awoken to find Edward's face tucked deep into the blankets on my bed, he hadn't realised I had woken up and I watched as he gently shook and tried to steady his breath. It was true that no tears were released when a vampire cried, but it certainly didn't mean that they couldn't cry at all, it was just different.

The figure stood then and slowly walked towards my bed.

"Alice?" I whispered. I was so happy to see her, my own tears flowed over and yet at the same time I felt my heart turn cold, I felt all the anger from the last couple of years fill me. She had betrayed me.

"I didn't want to go. We thought you'd be safe. I had seen him returning to you a hundred time, each way different. I didn't imagine he would stay away this long. I didn't think he would make it through the first week!" she shook her head as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"You didn't even say goodbye… you just… left." My voice was trembling. I wanted to hate her, to tell her to get out but the thought of losing her again was already crushing what was left of me.

"I thought…" She took a breath "A month… tops, I didn't think it would be years before I saw you again." She moved her hand to take mine. I pulled it further away from her and she pulled back her hand instantly.

I couldn't speak, I had so much I wanted to say but I just couldn't get it out. I didn't know where to start. I looked up at her and the tears started flowing uncontrollably as I read the hurt on her face. She didn't look like the carefree bubbly Alice I had once known. She looked like she had aged - which was impossible - her features seemed sombre, her mouth didn't twist into its normal playfulness and her eyes, they seemed just a flat colour. Not an ounce of the warmness I had come to love.

"You could have called, wrote… anything." I said shaking my head.

"I did. Every day." Her words were quiet. "I wanted you to know everything. I wanted you to be able to just slid back in like nothing had happened, when he finally came to his senses."

"I never… where did you send them?" I asked perplexed. I hadn't received anything, not a single word.

"I didn't. I couldn't seem to find you in my visions, I couldn't seem to track you down. I didn't know if you were happy and had moved on. I didn't want to risk ruining that, if you had."

"You should just sent them." My voice was too harsh, cold. It sounded full of resentment which was exactly how I felt but it didn't feel right talking to her like this.

"I'm sorry." She said again as she stood up never meeting my eyes.

"Where are you going?" I asked hurriedly, scared she was just going to vanish. My good had swung out and grab hers.

"I was going to go, I didn't think you wanted me here." The confusion evident in both her features and words.

"Don't. Please. Don't go" I begged, pleading with her. I couldn't lose her again. Her expression changed and I noticed a small smile spread through her lips as she sat back down.

I asked her what she had been up to and she told me all about her human family history, what really happened to her and I didn't miss how she would pause every now and then as she let me ponder everything. She started giving me a run down of everything I missed with the rest of the family and I couldn't help but ask questions when she would start to stutter or nervously laugh half way through a sentence. It was just so unlike Alice.

"Jazz has taken up a love for building mini aeroplanes, you know the remote ones. I'm waiting for him to come home and ask for a real one. Boys and their toys!" She shook her head.

"I bet Em loves them as well."

"You have no idea." Her speech took off on a hurry then, the way it did when she was too excited. "Jazz and Em take them with us when we go hunting so they can fly them freely. They race through eating just do they can race them afterwards. Carlisle and Esme are just happy to see them smile again these days and Rosalie, well she'll never change. Whatever makes him happy, makes her happy. There was this one time" She laughed and it was the first time tonight it resembled anywhere near her normal laugh that I had missed so much. She was looking into the distance as I assumed she was replaying the memory with perfect clarity, completely lost in thought. "Jazz smashed his plane into Em's one on purpose. They don't like to lose so they tend to be constantly ordering new ones. Em got really annoyed something about the perfect paint work. We were outside watching them argue when Em, tossed his control over his head out of anger and it smashed right through the windscreen of the car that was parked on the drive." She shook her head laughing but I noticed the uncomfortable stare that came onto her expression as she realised she had said too much. That had made me curious and worried she would stop talking so I continued acting like I hadn't noticed.

"I bet Rosalie or Carlisle were angry. Which one did he ruin?" I hadn't even considered a different car. If it had been Emmett's Jeep she would have found the whole this funnier. She looked down at me, contemplating. "What?" I asked suspiciously.

"It was the Aston Martin." Her words hit me then. Edward's favourite car. I gulped but tried to keep the pain from registering off my face.

"Oh" The uncomfortable silence of the moment seemed to drag on. I decided it was better to hear about Edward then to lose all the information on the others. " I can imagine his face. He must have been furious. Not his precious baby." I giggle as I allowed myself to image the anger that would consume him. He didn't even allow others to touch it, let alone drive it. I bit my lip trying to stop the laughter that was escaping my lips. It was wrong but I had to admit, I enjoyed his pain in this instance.

Alice hadn't laughed. She had just watched me, calculating her decision again. Her expression was torn between carrying on the conversation or saying something that she was certain would upset me.

"Just say it Alice!" I said, my irritations flaring. She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow before huffing and taking my hand again. She didn't look at me but rather starred at it, gently tracing the patterns. The way Edward use to.

"He didn't even care. He looked at it and then turned back to us. His face was void." Her voice was hollow, a whisper of what it was only five minutes ago. "He just turned and walked into the house. He didn't come out of his room for three weeks after that."

I sat stunned. That was not what I was expecting. Surely she was wrong, he had to hunt. "Alice" I said with over exaggerated humour, inside it was killing me but I wouldn't let her see that. "You don't have to say that stuff for my benefit. Its fine if he's ok. If he's moved on." How many times had I seen it in my head. I imagined a beautiful girl on his arm, one who rivalled Rosalie's beauty and won without effort. It had hurt to think of him like that, with someone else. But to think of him the way Alice had described was unbearable.

She let out a loud disbelieving laugh. "You are absurd Bella!" The way she said that brought back the exact first time I had ever seen Edward's anger. The day I told him he shouldn't have saved me, when I had accused him of regretting it. "Edward told me." She continued. The pure anger was evident and undeniable as she spoke. " So easy for you to let him go. To believe his words. He hadn't been expecting that." I was stunned into silence. "How could you believe him? He thought it would take days at the least to convince you that he didn't want you. We hadn't been expecting him for at least a week but straight away you just believed him. That first night. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. Bella, you have no idea… none." Her face was full of disgust as she remembered something I didn't want to think about. I had never imagined him unhappy. It made no sense to me. He had left me.

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	5. Explanations

**_Chapter 5 - Explanations_**

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"Distractions" I whispered. Remembering his words. It was the only thing I could say at this point. She let out another wild laugh.

"Distraction. YOU." She pointed. "The only distraction he has is you." She let go of my hand and dropped her head into her hands. I felt the minute shake from her body rumble through the bed. I hadn't thought about this side of it at all. Did he miss me? Was it possible?

"I don't understand" I said softly as I reached and soothing rubbed her arm. I didn't like to see Alice this hurt. It was unnatural.

"From the second he left you, he wasn't Edward anymore." Her voice was weak and full of hurt. " I shouldn't be telling you this, I was meant to help you get better not drag you into our problems…" She trailed off. I needed her to finish the story, I needed to know.

"Continue." I demanded. My voice wasn't loud but I had mimicked the way Carlisle had used it against me. I heard a soft sigh.

"He didn't leave his room for over eight months in the beginning. He just sat unseeing, staring at the blank wall." I couldn't help the shock that made my breathing hitch. Her eyes looked to mine then.

"What about hunting?" I asked, not understanding. She shook a no. "But then how…?"

"We would bring him a nearly dead animal, force him to feed. It wasn't easy. You of all people know how stubborn he is." Her sadness at the memory enveloped her entire face.

"What changed after eight months?" The ache in my heart was daring me to continue. Knowing I wouldn't survive it if it let loose again. She looked at the window then and concentrated.

"I'm not sure I should tell you." I felt it then, the ache that I didn't want, the ache of knowing that someone else had stolen his attention.

"Please" It was barely a whisper but I knew she heard. A low growl escaped her small tight lips before she spoke again.

"I was trying to look for you, as I often did. But I couldn't seem to find you or Charlie. It was Jessica who showed me what I needed." I raised my eyebrows unsure what she meant. Jessica had stopped talking to me just after they left. Apparently my depression was a downer on her life. "I saw her being killed." Alice said and shrugged. "Normally I wouldn't have got involved only it was at the hands of Victoria. Edward was immediately at my side asking me to look for clues, time etc… it was the first time he had spoken in those eight months. He guessed what I didn't have to show him. If Victoria got Jessica then she was in Forks and looking for you. He took off before anyone could say anything. We followed and went on the hunt with him…" I couldn't help but cut in.

"Wait… wait you were all in Forks?" I nearly shouted at the thought of them all being so near and not even coming to say hi.

"No, Bella. Calm down. We caught up with Victoria in south California. Edward began the hunt on her and sent us home. It was something he wanted to do alone."

"Oh." I said with a small smile. That did make me feel better.

"It was nearly a year later before we saw him again. We were in Denali visiting Tanya and the others and he came to meet us after losing Victoria's trail…." She paused and looked like she was trying to read my thoughts. The way she studied my face made me uneasy. I gave her a questioning look. "Are you sure you want to know this stuff? About him I mean?"

"I need to know Alice." I gave a small shrug and was thankful that the pain was either lessening or I was still under some of the effects of the medication.

"When he walked in, Tanya being Tanya, well she was overly friendly should we say." My eyes widened. I hadn't been expecting that. They always spoke of the Denali's as family. "She has liked Edward since she first met him but he never had time for her." My face must have shown my fear that this time was different because she answered my unspoken questions. "Nothing happened. He still didn't have time for her. If anything he was overly curt with her. If you had heard what he said to her. Their conversation." Alice shivered. I bit my lip. I knew she could tell me with perfect clarity and I couldn't help but want to know every small detail. I begged her using only my eyes and she sighed. She began, using impression of both of them. She had always been able to do Edward absolutely perfectly but this seemed harsher, deader then I remembered him.

"Tanya, its never going to happen, so please just stop." Her face expression matched his, I could imagine his worn out look he gave me whenever I tried to keep the kiss going on for longer than manageable.

"Edward, get over that frail human. Its over between you two. Besides she'll be dead soon enough. I cant wait." The way Alice did Tanya made my skin crawl.

"Yes your right on both accounts, but you don't understand something…" Her impression seemed tired. Like a human who hadn't slept in weeks, or eaten in months.

"And what is that?" The snaky voice irritated me, but I wasn't sure if that was mostly down to my anger.

"When she dies, I will find a way to follow her into the next world… somehow." This caught me, my breath faltered and my heart felt like it froze. "That's when Esme spoke up, horrified at his words. We all were but I could Rosalie understood. She kept looking at Emmett and I saw Edward give her a knowing look. She too would end her life if it meant not having Emmett." Her accent changed then to mimic Esme "Edward, no. you cant do that."

"What happened then?" I asked after a second of silence.

"I will not live in this world without her." I could hear Edward the morning of my last birthday with him, when he had told me about his suicide plans. " Then he just walked back out the door and was gone."

"No, no Alice you cant let him." I pleaded moving my bad arm and ignoring the pain that cursed throughout my body then.

"I wish I could stop him but he's been blocking his plans, I haven't been able to see how he will so I don't know how to stop him." Her voice was low.

"Well I do." Her eyes flashed at me with instant relief. "The Volturi Alice, he told me once, he had thought about it, he knew none of you would do it so he would go there and provoke them. Alice you cant let him."

"I don't intend on it. Now I know, I know what to look for." She nodded her head and I could see she was working out a plan just in case. Maybe it should have bothered me that I was ignoring an important detail in this conversation but I couldn't seem to care that we were discussing my death. "We didn't see him again until about six months ago. He came here." He had been so close and I never even knew. "It was the time of the car I told you about. After those first three weeks, I started seeing things, his resolve wavering, it was becoming too much for him. He wanted to see you. He spoke in riddles to all of us and I tried to convince him to let me come as well but he said no." Her lips pouted out.

"He was coming back for me?" I asked, disbelieve colouring my tone.

"One night last week, after a small hunt, we came back to find a note on the front door. It said only one word. Bella." She moved her hand to rest it soothingly on my face. "We waited for the phone call. Come home." Her smile faded drastically then. " But when he phone his words were scared. He just kepy repeating: She's not here. She hasn't been for sometime. Victoria's been here. Charlie's gone too. What if she's…" her voice chocked off and I could see this was a painful memory for her. " That was the last we heard from him. Jazz and Em took off to Forks that same night to look for him. They haven't found him yet."

"Yeah I knew he had been around. The night before my birthday. He went to the police station and the cemetery before leaving town. I guess he found out about Charlie."

"How do you know that?" She asked taken by surprise. Alice wasn't use to being surprised so it really got under her skin when she was.

"Jake told me he picked up Edwards scent and he had followed it but he lost him after he left Forks." I shrugged.

"The wolf?" Alice stared down at me and it was clear she was not impressed by the wolves. It occurred to me then, when Jasper and Emmett caught up to him, what would they say?

"Alice, will they tell him about me?" Her lips pursed before she spoke again.

"They don't know about you Bella."

"How do you?

"Esme asked me to get you something, so she knew I needed all the details. That reminds me." She took something from her bag then. "Its your new passport Marie and official documentation. You exist now, according to your grades your really smart as well." A small giggle slipped out at the end of her words.

"I…how?" I knew they were capable of more than the average person but creating new identities?

"Jasper has a lawyer friend, Jay. He gets us the papers we need to start over every time, I paid him a visit. There is one catch though and I'm sorry if your not happy with it. I can get it changed if you give me more time." She smiled apologetically. I couldn't image what could be wrong with it. "When I saw him, I was rushing, I just wanted to see you. Nerves took the better of me and I didn't give him your new last name. He assumed that it was meant to match ours." I froze, I hadn't been expecting that. I was finally a Cullen but it wasn't how I was meant to join them. This wasn't the way I had pictured it all those years ago. "Here you go Marie Cullen"

She continued as if hoping I wouldn't object, handing me my papers. I was speechless. I stared at the name on the paper. Reading it over and over. It was meant to be Bella Cullen, that thought stung deeper than any before. But I reminded myself it didn't matter, he was coming for me. He had come for me… another thought hit then. My mind was racing through all the thoughts and possibilities. Did I want him back? Yes - definitely. Could I take him back? I wasn't sure, the damage he had caused me was serve, it ran deep. I didn't know what to do or say but to smile at her and hope she took it as a thanks.

"Oh one more thing. This is yours as well." She opened her wallet and took out a small shiny credit card.

"Alice, no. I'm not taking your money." I argued.

"Its not my money" She smiled a victory. I felt stupid for jumping the gun, of course I would need a bank account to go with this new life she created. I sighed and reached for it, as soon as I had it, she jumped off the bed. "Its your money" she said gleefully.

"What?"

"I got Esme to take the money from you wallet, I invested it in the right places" She tapped her forehead the way Edward often did. " So technically its all yours. So don't even try and argue this will me Bella." She had that stern look again, the one I knew I wouldn't win against. I stared at her in shock before finally agreeing to keep it.

"Thank you Alice." I whispered. Tears threatening to spill. "This is all so wonderful. I cant… thanks" Suddenly her arms were around me, as best she could without hurting me.

"I really did miss you." She whispered quietly.

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	6. Ice onto Fire

_**Chapter 6 - Ice onto Fire**_

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Even with blinds shut, I could tell it was a sunny day. The rays of light somehow still managed to illuminate the room and at times I thought I saw a hint of a rainbow coming from Alice's skin. She hadn't left and from the little time I spent with them, I knew she should have. She kept looking at the window and going silent before shrugging and looking at me with what seemed like fear. Was there something coming? Should I be scared? I continued my inner monologue of random questions that I got from constantly over reading her expressions, until I couldn't take it no longer.

"Alice, go." It came out harsher than I had meant and I saw her face drop.

"Do you want me to leave?" Her voice was small again, just like it had been when I first woke up.

"No, oh God no. I didn't mean it like that." I stumbled across my words, panicked. "What I meant was, the sun.. its… and you should… if you need…" I huffed. Her lips began twitching and suddenly we were both in hysterics. Her laugh was exactly how I remembered it. The beautiful bell tone floating around me. For the first time, it felt like no time had passed. That the last four years of my life had been nothing but a dream - no, a nightmare. A horrid nightmare that I couldn't seem to wake from.

"What did I miss?" The voice from the doorway caught my immediate attention and I turned to look at Esme. She was staring at us, her own lips turned up in a smile, as if she agreed with what she saw here.

"Bella was being unintentionally funny" I felt my smile fade. Although she did not mimic his voice now, those were the exact words he had spoken the very first day I met his family. The first time he ran with me on his back and I had been too afraid to let go, even after we had stopped. The words repeated in my head but this time they were his. I felt the old ache spread, my body stiffened and I noticed how they both began examining me.

"Its bright out" I needed to distract them and myself until I figured out what is was I was going to do. "Don't you need to go before someone sees?" I knew my tone was curt and I didn't want it to be but I wasn't unable to put in any more motion than that, in case I lost the little composure I had.

"Yes, it is. But it's fine. There's a back way in and out of this hospital. It was one of the main reasons we chose it. Besides" Esme walked closer and took my hand "We've spent too long apart."

The rest of the day seemed to fly quicker than I had thought possible. It was filled with stories, I knew they were being cautious, they didn't want to upset me anymore by talking about Edward and although I was thankful for that, I couldn't help but ask the odd question about his presence or reaction to something. At these times they would just look between themselves before answering. Carlisle had come by to check on me constantly, it seemed like every ten minutes he was taking new observations and writing in my chart. I wondered if this was normal for him to act like this with his patients, but after the tenth visit, Esme scolded him and said she was looking after me. I couldn't help but laugh.

It wasn't until late afternoon that the nurse came to see me, she asked if I was ok and needed anything. A shower. That was all I wanted at this point. When I had asked, Alice almost exploded with happiness. At first I took that as a bad thing, did I smell that bad? But then I noticed the large bag she was suddenly clutching and realised to my horror, she wanted to play dress-up-Barbie-Bella.

The shower was difficult but I was glad that I decided to let the nurse help me and not Alice. I didn't want her seeing unnecessary scaring or anything else that might freak her out… Especially the tattoo I had done one night, one long night that contained too much alcohol and not enough thinking on my behalf. This tattoo had haunted me ever since and although I was certain Carlisle had now seen it, I was going to keep it locked away from anyone else.

The nurse had left after I persuaded her that I was able to dress myself, not that I had chosen the outfit. Thanks to Alice, I had no choice but wear what she deemed perfect. However, Alice didn't seem as pushy as she once had been with me. She would say something, retract it and then eye me carefully - afraid. It wasn't hard to understanding what was going on in her head. Was she really scared she would push me too far and I'd tell her to leave? I couldn't understand why? After all they were the ones that left me.

I pulled on the tight black jeans and tee combo - glad to be rid of all the wires and tubes - I was still very sore but it was manageable, I had certainly had a lot worse! I heard someone's phone ringing followed by a low voices. I listened hard trying to figure out the words, but given the speed, it was just impossible. When I stepped out of the bathroom, I seemed to have interrupted a quiet conversation between Alice and Esme. They both looked at me, wary.

"What happened?" I asked, I couldn't get the vision of Edward in front of the Volturi out of my head. Alice looked back at Esme, they didn't move. "Ok, seriously, stop. Keeping things from me, especially if they involve me isn't right. What is going on?" I demanded. Irritation clear in my words. I was just past all this craziness, all the cover ups and them thinking they were protecting me. It hadn't worked then and it certainly wouldn't work now. Alice nodded once at Esme, before walking over to me and guiding me back to the bed.

"Ok seriously? Your scaring me. He didn't…" I looked at Alice. "He isn't on his way to the…"

"No, no Bella. Calm down." She interrupted me. I took a steadying breath.

"Then what?" I asked perplexed.

"He phoned while you were in the bathroom. He knew about Charlie. He went to see if you were at your mothers and instigated a conversation with Phil."

"Phil? My step dad?" I couldn't make sense of it. Why would he talk to Phil?

"He was afraid your mum might remember him from Phoenix and… blame him for leaving you. But he had never met Phil and thought if he asked the right questions as the new neighbour on the block, then he would find out what they knew about you." Of course. Ask if he had a daughter and see what he thinks about. I laughed internally.

"And…"

"And he knows your missing. Bella he was panicked on the phone, he's not in a good place right now. I was going to tell him but I wasn't sure if you wanted him to know… I wasn't sure if" She looked down again and it looked as if she was contemplating something. "I owe you so much, you forgave me after the way I left and I wont ruin that. If you don't want him to know then I wont be the one that tells him." She stated firmly.

"He's your family Alice. I don't expect you to lie for me."

"You're my family as well." She shrugged. I couldn't help but smile and also cringe at the same time. I had let them back in and I wasn't sure if it was the best idea. What if they would just got up and leave again, I wouldn't handle that.

"Where is he now?" My voice was shaky.

"He's on his way back."

I felt as if I had been hit with a thousand bricks. There was no explanation for it. I was freaking out, what if's ran through my mind a million times. It felt like someone was pushing down on my chest, I couldn't concentrate. Would I really get to see him? Would he seem me and change his mind? I was much older now. My breath caught. It was getting blurrier and I noticed that I couldn't make out the voices that were surrounding me. Carlisle seemed to materialize from nowhere and I could just about make out his hand movements. The darkness was encroaching on my vision and I felt as if my whole body was on fire. Every nerve ending felt like it had been split. There faces bounced in front of my vision, barely recognisable. Every movement weighed down, I realised then it was them, they were holding me. Ice onto Fire.

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	7. Edward

_**Chapter 7 - Edward**_

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I was aware but trapped. I could feel the cold on my skin, hear the beeping in the room but I could not move, couldn't open my eyes, couldn't attempt to open my mouth. What was going on? What happened?

I remembered the car accident, Carlisle in the emergency room, Esme… Alice… did that all really happen? At this point it seemed more likely that it was a dream. Maybe this was the first time I had been… partially conscious, if that's what I was. I concentrated trying to move my hand, I could feel it but it felt numb.

Cold fingers brushed the inside of my hand. Followed by a series of pokes. They stung but my body refused to react in anyway. I heard a sigh.

"Anything?" Esme's voice spoke from the other side of me. She was here. A wave of calm seemed to wash over me. If she was here, it was all true.

"No, no change." How long had I been like this.

"I can't see anything. Please please please Bella, if you can hear me, stop blocking me. I don't know how your doing it but please stop." She pleaded but I didn't know how I was doing it, let alone how to stop it.

A distant beeping went off and I felt Carlisle's fingers tense on my arm.

"What am I going to tell him?" Esme asked aloud. There was a pause and a couple of sighs before I heard Esme's quiet answer. "Hello Edward." The words scent shivers down my spine and I wondered if Carlisle could feel them. "No, I'm not at home…" Another pause. "Actually I'm at the hospital with Carlisle and Alice. I think you should come here." I was anxious and suddenly wishing for vampire hearing so I could hear the other side of the conversation. "We can work on the next step together here. Carlisle has to work. Meet us in his office."

I knew from my conversations with Alice, that Carlisle's office was opposite this room. He had it worked out that this room would be where any of them could use, if there was a need for faking a hospital stay. It was the best location for avoiding direct sunlight but better than that, just outside the door had its own fire escape that led right down into the underground car park. As usual the Cullen's didn't miss a detail.

"I think we should start the turning process before he gets here. That way he cant stop it." I heard Alice's bell like voice ring proudly as if she didn't care who disagreed with her.

"We don't know that we don't have another choice." Carlisle's voice countered hers.

"What does it matter. I saw it that first day, she was meant to be one of us and its just stupid that she isn't already. You know Edward wants to keep her. If its done then there's really nothing he can do about it."

"And what if she doesn't want to join us anymore?" Esme interrupted then, her voice bleak and full of sadness. "Alice we have hurt her, what we did to her wasn't fair. Just because she is talking to us doesn't mean she wants to join us."

I could almost see Alice's pout in my mind. The way she always jutted her bottom lip out when she was upset. It seemed obvious to me why I was in this room, they needed to be able to come and go and Carlisle wanted to be able to keep an eye on me at all times. I hadn't realised until right this moment, that this was also the perfect room to steal - with ease - my changing body from. Had they planned to change me right from the beginning?

Minutes passed in silence before Esme spoke again. "What are you going to tell him Carlisle?"

"I think showing him is better then trying to tell him." For the first time since I had met Carlisle, I heard him sound insecure about a decision.

Nothing but silence, again. I tried to reason with my eyes, my hands, my mouth… but nothing wanted to cooperate.

"He's here" Alice's voice whispered from somewhere close to me. "Bella, if you can hear me, know is a good time to wake up. Please Bella. Seeing you like this is going to destroy what is left of him." I shuddered at that and although I felt the movement pass through me, I was certain that my body didn't even move minutely, I knew if it had then someone would have noticed.

A few more moments passed before I heard Carlisle sigh. If my hearing was correct, it meant he was over by the door. Was Edward really here? Wake up! I screamed at myself. Get up! MOVE! But no response.

"Carlisle. We have to find her!" There it was, low and frantic but his musical tone floated through the air towards me. His voice sounded darker than I originally remembered.

"Edward, calm…"

"Don't tell me to calm down Esme, please. She could be with one of our kind, Victoria… She could be…" The pain that coated his every word was so much harder to hear than I ever thought it would be. Could he know that this was hurting me just as much as it was hurting me. I hoped and wished that I would either wake up fully or that by some miracle he could read my mind. Back then I thought of it as a blessing but now I wouldn't care if he could read every thought I had ever had, as long as it took that edge out of his voice.

"Edward, this is going to be hard to…"

"Wait" Edward stopped Carlisle mid sentence. "Why can I smell her on you? On all of you? What's going on?"

"There was an accident Edward." It was Alice's turn and I going by the sound of her voice, I was glad I couldn't see his expressions.

"Is she…?" He trailed off but Carlisle was quick to end his train of thought.

"No. She's alive Edward, so calm down and we can explain everything."

"Where is she?"

"Behind us." Esme soothing voice caressed the words.

"Be prepared Edward, she's stable but not awake." As Carlisle spoke his voice drew back into the room and I took that as a sign that Edward was here with them now. "We're not sure when or if she will" He spoke again, answering a question that either my human ears were too low to hear or one that was asked merely by a look.

Cold hands were suddenly on my face, creasing my cheeks and brushing my hair from my face. "Bella, Love wake up." His voice was pleading, frantic and I could hear the dry heaving sound that Alice had been making coming from his body over me. "Please my Bella, I'm so sorry."

I tried to force my eyes open but nothing happened.

"Carlisle what happened to her?" His voice was hollow and I didn't like it at all.

"After we left, as you know Charlie passed away and Bella was being tracked by Victoria." I felt the vibrations from the growl as it left Edwards chest. They all ignored it. "So she left… changed her name and came here. She's been here all this time, I don't know that much about it but what I do know is the day of her birthday she was in a car accident and ended up in my E.R under the name Marie Dwyer. She sustained some serious injuries and I lost her for a few minutes" His hands froze and I could only imagine what his expression must have looked like. "But then she was fine. She's been up talking and laughing. I didn't see it coming but out of no where she suffered a bleed in her brain. I operated and fixed it, so now we just have to wait and see if she wakes up."

I felt his cold lips touch my forehead briefly and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to feel them against my lips. Just one more time.

"Is there anything we can do?" Edwards voice was shaking as he spoke, as were his fingers as they touched my skin.

"No, not at the point."

"There is one thing" Alice's voice gave hint that she knew the response her words would get her but she didn't seem to care what reaction he gave her. I was expecting, as I had witnessed a harsh growl and a stream of no's but there was silence again. A long moment of silence.

"If we did, are we certain she would awake from this?" Edward sounded disgusted with himself for even asking. The room was full of sighs that seemed to effortlessly flow in harmony. Apparently I wasn't the only shocked by his response.

"She would. Esme was much further on than this when I turned her."

"Is there time to give her a chance to wake up on her own?" His hands cupped my face as he leaned into my ear whispering "Please forgive me for... damming you. I just cant lose you again."

"Certainly. There is no rush, she is stable and could remain this way for quite sometime if she doesn't wake up." Carlisle used his doctor tone and I understood why, the doctor in him wanted to give me a chance to fight my way through this, but the father in him wanted nothing more than for his son to be happy again and if changing me meant that, then he had no problem with it.

"We'll wait then." Were Edwards last words before the sleepiness overtook me and I lost all connection to his cold finger tips.


End file.
